Girl best friendships are infamous. They’re either obsessed with each other or hate each other. Or a little of both. What is it with girls where they can’t just love their friends and not say anything bad? We take things too seriously, personally, and if things aren’t to par and how we want them to be then its fucked up. So the best friends that are obsessed with each other, they spend every moment they can with each other, think each other are the most gorgeous creatures to walk the planet, love all the same things, or don’t, but things just click. They’re like two peas in a pod. Together they’re infamous for fun, stupidity, beautifulness, or in my case everything good in the world and the concert whore part. Then there’s girl best friends who are competitive. They say they love each other, shop all the time, talk a lot of shit about other people, and talk a lot of shit about each other. Then there’s groups of girl best friends. There’s always two that are better friends than they are with the others. That brings out jealousy. Sometimes someone in the group will just start fuckin up and acting out of the ordinary; every talks and then someone usually turns the rest of the bitches against her. They talk about her every time she leaves a room, every time shes trying to chill. What kind of friends are those? And then, lets say IF there’s one whose genuinely a good friend they listen to both sides and want to still be able to chill with both groups. But then everyone gets mad. Wack shit. What I don’t understand is why people just cant be real girl best friends? Why everyone always talks shit? Girl best friends will always bond over the memories, the shopping trips, the boy bashing, they run to each other when boys break up with them, when boys text them, when there’s drama with their new friends, petty shit like that. The true friendship between girls has deteriorated; it takes special people to be a true best friend. And the worlds running out. Thank God there’s me.
February 2010
I really want to scream at the top of my lungs Sunday nights when I realize that around 5-6 if I’m not out, getting dinner, have no school the next day, or out of town, that I have to do my homework and my weekend ends. Hell starts all over again. School. Waking up at 6 am, sitting through about 8 hours of cold, moldy, gross feeling classes, with many people I’m completely repulsed with. I can never sleep Sunday nights because I know that when I open my eyes as the alarm rings, my fun is over. I have to wait days until I can be happy again. Everything closes early, some places like Chick-fil-a aren’t open at all, I’m just sad. I get depressed and feel like I have no friends. But, maybe it’s because I live in the suburbs? Where going to bed early and curfews are “key to success.” Bull shit. I’m tired of this, I feel like I should have been in the Disney Channel movie instead of Danielle Panabaker. I hate it, I hate how everything’s closed, no one wants to do anything, just WHAT THE FUCK?!?! I want to go out and play, stay out all night, wear short dresses or leather leggings, with my new bra I bought yesterday; since, dance, get silly, laugh and flirt with boys that I actually find attractive. And, suburbia has none of those things. I hate the way the boys dress, I hate how the people act, I hate how nearly everyone dresses. I want high heels with a flowery dress on a Saturday at the mall to not be looked at like it’s the most scandalous thing. Because it’s not. I’m so sick of it. I want to be able to get everywhere by walking, everywhere I turn have there be hobosexuals or guys that look and dress like rock stars walk past me with their tattoos and cute shirts, girls to always dress like they’re going to a party, nights to last until 4 am every night. I’m not down with a suburban suicide Sunday, where my day is cut short, I dread waking up the next morning, and I get so depressed I could cry.
Many would be surprised that I’m actually quiet religious. Sure my morals have been corrupted, I don’t exactly follow every word of scripture, I’ve also sinned, but nonetheless, I’m a proud Catholic. So Lent season started yesterday and one of the many things I’m giving up is talking badly about people. I tend to do that a lot. To be honest, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Some people are just awful. What am I supposed to do but share my disapproval of their idiotic simple minds? So, today in class I was tempted to just blast out my guns and defend Shaun White, my boo. We get on the subject about how he landed the “Double Mctwist” and of course this blond girl has to say, “Actually it’s the Double Mctwist 360.” Excuse me, just because you watch the Olympics does not mean that you know shit. And its not just that but every time i make a comment she needs to say something in response. I just let it slip my mind, and then we started talking about how I want to marry Shaun White. Then, her and her interesting friend said that he was unattractive, that he needs a hair cut, etc. Pardon, but I know millions of girls who would beat it until his hair wasn’t fiery red anymore. To hold back I just screamed, ” Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.” My friend turned around and said, “Have you seen the guys they’ve dated?” That was all I needed. But seriously this is SO hard. There’s just so many people that I simply don’t like. There’s so many mean things I could say and will eventually say. I just don’t get it, why do they think they can judge people and say mean things, when they don’t look at themselves first? To be honest, I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done, and when my bullets fly out they will. I’m trying so hard to just not scream at them. This is all for God though. No one can say I didn’t try. I literally put my hands over my mouth and say, “I’m not supposed to talk smack about people.” I just don’t understand why everything I say has to have a comment attached to it. When these 40 days are over, it’s on like donkey kong. Happy Lent season!
